Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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