So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
