I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
