hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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