So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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