the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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