My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
