U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
