So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
