Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
