She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
