peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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