the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize