I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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