So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
