A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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