It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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