Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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