I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
