It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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