Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
