I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
