Pappa wants mamma naked
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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