my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
