Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I checked into jail on foursquare
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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