He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
