I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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