Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
