So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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