i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
