I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
