Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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