My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
