2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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