it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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