WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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