My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
