We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
