Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sext me about skeletons
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
