Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
