ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
