I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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