Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sponge bath it is.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
