How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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