3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
