I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
