____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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