best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
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