The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
