And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
