They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
