If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
