is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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