Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
