You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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