[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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