Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
