i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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