You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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