New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
