Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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