these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
