before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
