I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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