2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
