May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
