Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
