She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
