I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
