i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
