i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
