i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
third nipple confirmed
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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