i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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