have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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