...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
