so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
