So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
