your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
