friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
